What Was I Drinking…er…Thinking

Great way to make a point about fluid control! Thanks Bob!

Bob Northam

Bob Here.

So this dialysis patient goes into a bar and orders a beer, right?

The bartender says, “That’ll be eight dollars. You know,” he continues, “we don’t get many dialysis patients in here.”

The dialysis patient says, “And at eight dollars a beer, twelve ounces of fluid, 100 milligrams of potassium, and 50 milligrams of phosphorous, you won’t get many more either.”

Okay, so that’s a dialysis twist on an old joke, and I admit, it kind of kills the humor.

(The original version was a kangaroo instead of a dialysis patient, and obviously didn’t have anything about the nutritional contents of beer.)

But it puts me to mind of the dichotomy faced by dialysis patients with regard to drinking.

On the one hand, clearly drinking and dialysis don’t make a good mix.

I mean, the fluid alone is a complete smackdown.

I remember one time I was sitting…

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About DevonTexas

I am a person with ESRD (End Stage Renal Disease) which means my kidneys don't work. Forty or so years ago that would have been a death sentence but today there is Dialysis which means I can be hooked up to a machine that will clean my blood as the kidneys should. Three days a week, I go to a center and have too very large needles stuck in my arm to remove and replace my blood as it passes through a process where it's cleaned and the fluid is removed, a process taking a little over four hours each time. I want to advance knowledge about dialysis so that other patients can learn from my experience and mistakes. We shouldn't have to reinvent the wheel, eh? There is so much to be learned and experienced about our predicament. There are vast resources available to support us and enrich our lives but many patients don't know about them. There are also many issues that we have to deal with whether we want to or not. So I blog about them. All comments are confidential until I approve them. If you don't want your comment public, let me know and I will respect that. So, feel free to leave a comment. Enjoy.
This entry was posted in dialysis, diet, dietary restictions, dry weight, ESRD, fluid control, New Patient, patient care and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to What Was I Drinking…er…Thinking

  1. William "Bill" J. Stewart says:

    I had just gotten home from dialysis when I read your note and referred me to Bob’s Blog. Thanks tons for the laughs.
    I felt like I hit the jackpot when a visiting doctor — certainly not mine — told me I could have about two fingers of Scotch. (He never said which way the fingers measure.) And there’s not a lot of moisture in a shot of single malt. I just promise to drink less water.
    During the summer I bought a 12-pack of beer and panicked when it was down to three cans a month later. Only then did I discover that my wife, who doesn’t like beer, was filching cans for things like beer soups.
    I personally thing the saline bags should be filled with beer or single malt.

    • DevonTexas says:

      I vote Single malt! There’s nothing like sitting in the recliner holding a nice stout glass with “two fingers” of McCallan 18 year old Single Malt Scotch (I also have a 25 year old for special occasions) and watching the world go by. It’s like a hi-way turnoff to see a beautiful view.

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